So, while I have no specific topics to discuss tonight, I figured I would come and write a bit anyways. Today has been a day off of the dance jobs, and a day of reflection. I've made an awful lot of realizations today-some good, others bad-and can proudly say that I have not only been told that I have grown as a spirit, but I can feel it as well.
When I think back to being hurt so many times in my past, the spirit inside of me takes flight. I'm starting to learn to hang on less to pain and more to love. After all, it is love that guides us and heals us and allows us to grow. It is that need to take flight that is what will ensure my grace and ability to conquer this lifetime.
I've rekindled an old friendship, and tonight we had the first "deep" discussion. This friend is someone that I have always looked up to, and has always been there for me to pick me up and brush me off and push me onward again, at my own pace. You know who you are, and for that I thank you. I only hope that one day I will be able to do the same for you-not to see you hurting inside, but to show you the care that you have shown me.
Throughout the day I've also given thought to these friends that "cannot trust anyone anymore" because of something one person did to them. I've been in that position, and I can honestly say that while pushing others away is not the thing you SHOULD do, I support those of you that are doing so. I'll be right here waiting to be picked back up again like a bad habit, and this time I just pray that you have grown in order to avoid that leave of absence again. This is your one and only opportunity to turn your back on me and know that when you try and face me again I will still be standing there.
Today is the first baby step in moving forward from my own pain. Note to self: I'm so very proud of you. We can do this.